Spitting Image
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: Tony & Gibbs, Father/Son, Series of one shots focused on their friendship.
1. On Your Six

AN: Will be a series. I will try and base most of them from episode quotes etc. I am open to suggestions from episodes as well. So, just place them in a review or a PM. Thanks and Enjoy!

"_On your six boss." _

--

After about the eighth time of almost losing his Senior Agent to any number of accidents; shootings and kidnappings; he finally decided now would be a good time to express his gratitude.

"DiNozzo…" He waved him over and watched Tony get up immediately.

"Yeah boss?"

Gibbs examined his response and the look in his eyes. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Come running like that."

"Like what?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Never mind, listen about today…"

"You don't have to say anything boss. I know you would've done the same for me. So let me help you avoid the awkwardness of this conversation by accepting the thank you and walking away." He smiled and started to turn towards his desk.

"Hey!" He watched Tony quickly turn back. "Let me get this out…"

"Boss really…you don't have to."

Gibbs put his hand up and stepped around his desk to face his Senior Agent. "I do." He cleared his throat and thought to himself for a few seconds. "Now, about today, it made me realize something."

Tony had to smile. "I know you love me boss, you don't have to say it."

"Interrupt me again and I'm gonna slap you so hard…" He watched his Agent put his hands up in defense and continued. "After today, I figured I should tell you this…before your nine lives run out…"

Tony wasn't sure how to respond; but knew one thing he wasn't going to do; interrupt. He watched as Gibbs looked almost awkward; something he had never witnessed before. His boss either had a lot to say or nothing at all. There was no middle ground; at least until now. "You have become one hell of an Agent, and ah hell, I'm just gonna say it…" He took in breath. "I don't know anyone else I'd want watching my six DiNozzo…"

Although Gibbs hadn't used words like; care, love or friendship. Anthony DiNozzo knew exactly what his leader was trying to say. He straightened up and responded in a way he knew Gibbs would understand. "It's an honor to watch your six Gunny."

Gibbs nodded and put on his hand for Tony to take. "I'm flattered DiNozzo, just one thing..."

"What's that boss…?"

"Call me Gunny again, and I'll head slap you back to Baltimore."

Tony nodded and retreated behind his desk. It wasn't long after that; Gibbs phone rang and he reached for his gear. Gibbs was waiting impatiently in the elevator when he heard those three comforting words…

"On your six..."


	2. Irreplaceable

"_As far as I'm concerned, you're irreplaceable….forget it McGee, he's still alive." _

--

Gibbs couldn't help but notice something was different about Anthony DiNozzo. He had only spouted one movie reference all day; and made less eye contact with him than usual. He hadn't smiled yet and McGee had suddenly become the life of the bull pen. Gibbs just couldn't take it anymore. He got up and motioned for his Senior Agent to follow him into the elevator; and switched off the power the moment the doors came to a close.

"You sick?"

Tony shook his head.

"Tired?"

He shook his head once more.

"Trying to get a point across DiNozzo?"

He opened his mouth to speak; but nothing came out. He remained silent until Gibbs started at him again.

"Tooth ache?"

Tony managed a smile. "No."

"Good. Cuz I'm gonna give you one if you don't tell me what's going on..."

"You really don't know?" He watched as Gibbs shook his head slowly. "Not even in your gut?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't have listened to Tim makes stupid jokes all day. Now what is it?"

"We can talk about this somewhere else boss. I know how the Director mentioned she'd been getting complaints bout the elevator wait and…" He met Gibbs stare and nodded. "Or we could talk about it now." He cleared his throat. "Okay, well remember yesterday when I got kidnapped, saved that marine and all that?"

"No DiNozzo, I tried blocking it out."

Tony shrugged. "Well me too, but when we got back and the Probie was at my desk…well that kinda hurt boss."

"Did it?"

He nodded his head up and down. "And contrary to popular belief, I have feelings."

"So you want me to apologize?"

"I know better than to ask for that boss…" He looked towards the power switch and expected Gibbs to be hitting it any second now.

"I said you were irreplaceable. And I meant that." He reached for the switch then hesitated. "Next time you have an issue, tell me; don't leave me wondering what the hell is wrong all day long…understood?"

Tony nodded. "Understood."

"Good." He flipped on the switch then turned it back off. "And one other thing…you should know better than anyone on this team how I feel."

"Guess I just…overreacted a little."

"A little?" He turned to face him. "You keep this up and we're gonna be at sensitivity trainings till I kill someone."

Tony had to laugh. "I'd hate to see that happen boss."

"That's good, cuz it'd probably be you." He finally flipped the switch and the doors opened to a group of people waiting impatiently. The Director was at the forefront with her hands on her hips.

"What's your explanation this time Gibbs?"

He shrugged then pointed at Tony, before throwing his arm around him. "Sensitivity training Director. Sensitivity training."


	3. Protection Details Over

_**Gibbs:** "Protection Details over Kate. You did good. For once DiNozzo's right."_

_**Kate:** Wow…I thought I'd die before I ever heard a comp…" -Gun Shot-_

--

Gibbs reached into his glove compartment to retrieve a handkerchief as it started to drizzle a bit. He looked up at the clouds forming, then back at his Senior Agent who hadn't stopped giving out orders. He reached out with the handkerchief and started to wipe Kate's damp blood from his face. Tony snapped his head towards him, but Gibbs didn't stop. He only moved his position a bit and continued. Tony then put his hand up and reached for the handkerchief.

"I can do that boss."

Gibbs ignored him. "I got it Tony."

Tony knew better than to question him a second time and suddenly realized there was nothing about the moment that was awkward at all. Something about it comforted him and Gibbs must've known it would. He always did. When he was through he watched his boss slip the handkerchief back into his pocket.

Days after the funeral and Ari's death; Gibbs looked up at the top of his basement steps to see he had a visitor.

"Cant sleep DiNozzo?"

"Ah. That's nothing new boss. Haven't slept much all week."

"Want me to sing you a lullaby or something?"

Tony had to smile. "No. Just hoping for some company is all."

Gibbs tossed him a sander and Tony took the hint. He began to sand and couldn't help but gaze at the faded blood stain on the cement floor near the work table. "Hear bloods a killer to get out when it seeps through the cracks."

Gibbs nodded and peered up him. "You heard right."

Tony stayed silent for a few more minutes; until he noticed Gibbs take out a familiar handkerchief to wipe his brow. "Boss, that's not the same one…you know…from…" He found it difficult to speak her name and hoped Gibbs understood what he was trying to say.

Gibbs reached for it and faded it out for Tony to see the blood stains. "It was my Father's…and his Father before that…and his Father's before that…"

Tony noticed the embroidered letters in the corner. "What's it say?"

Gibbs stared down at if for a second before responding. "Always faithful."

"That's sweet boss."

He slipped it back into his pocket and smiled. "Yeah, she was Tony."

He smiled at his reference to her. "So guess you'll be passing that onto your son one day?"

Gibbs nodded. "Maybe one day."

"You'll just have to explain away the blood stains huh?"

He managed to stop his work and peered up at him. "Any son of mine wont need it explained away."

The rest of that night consisted of Gibbs working in silence; while Tony went on and on about movies; girls and anything else but Kate. When he left for the night he was somehow able to sleep easier as he recounted how he felt when Gibbs wiped the stains off his face. And for the first time in days; he closed his eyes and didn't feel the warm blood spatter.

That following morning he arrived at work to find a slightly blood stained handkerchief waiting for him at his desk. He never said a word to Gibbs; because he didn't have to. Some things went without saying…and this was one of them.


	4. My Son Tony Plays That Game

"_My son Tony plays that game…"_

--

"New high score baby!" Tony jumped out of his chair and ran over to Ziva. He waved the phone back and forth in front of her face and pointed. "Look, look. New high score."

She reached out and stopped his hand from flailing. "I would like to look, stop moving it."

He calmed himself a bit and watched her close the phone abruptly. "What are you twelve years old Tony?"

He rolled his eyes and took it from her. "I should've known you wouldn't understand."

Gibbs came through the bull pen just then and it sent Tony straight back to his desk. "Got something to share DiNozzo?"

He stared at his phone then shook his head. "No boss. It's nothing."

The rest of the day consisted of Tony smiling at his open phone periodically; then the smile disappearing the moment he closed it. At the end of the day Gibbs had to ask.

"You looking at a picture worth smiling about Tony?"

Tony closed his phone and his smile softened. "No boss. Just…it's nothing." The stare he received in return caused him to reconsider his response. "It's well…Tetris on my phone…I got a new high score this morning."

Gibbs motioned for Tony to open his phone and he did so. It displayed the score and Gibbs swiftly patted him on the back. "That's a good job DiNozzo."

"Really boss?" He face was almost beaming as he cleared his throat. "I mean…yeah, it does take an intense amount of concentration and skill."

Gibbs agreed. "You're right, it does." He headed back to his desk and grabbed his coat. "Buy you a pizza to celebrate?"

Tony almost jumped out of his seat but took a breath. "Do you even have to ask?" He watched Gibbs nod and followed behind him into the elevator.

Gibbs had to smile as he watched Tony try and hide his excitement. He knew his Senior Agent needed times like this. Times of reassurance; and just a simple pat on the back. With some people it was the big things; telling them you love them, buying expensive gifts on special occasions…but with Anthony DiNozzo and Leroy Jethro Gibbs; it was the little things.


	5. Post Requiem Scene

_Post Requiem Closing Scene_

--

Tony knew better than to expect a thank you. After all, this was Gibbs we were talking about. The man who expressed how much he cared by giving him swift slaps in the back of the head. But did he want a thank you? Sure, why not? I mean, he did save his life and after all; if anything warranted a thank you; that would be it. But over the years Anthony DiNozzo recognized Gibbs signs of affections and knew better than to pry or grovel. He still craved his boss's approval over most anything; but most people just saw it as him being over zealous. Most people.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs hollered from the gurney and saw his Senior Agent arrive at his side within seconds; still breathing a bit heavily.

"You okay boss?"

"Fine. Tell them, I'm fine."

Tony looked at the frustrated faces of the paramedics and pulled one of them aside. "Okay, pretend like you're arguing with me and wont give in. " The paramedic looked a little confused but obliged. "Now, I don't care if you have to tie him to that gurney…hell sedate him if you have to. He's going in for observation. Just watch out for the back of your head. When he's pissed, he can be a loose canon."

"Back of my head?"

"Did I stutter?." He gestured for them to walk back towards Gibbs and he shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "Sorry boss, Directors orders." He watched them put him in the ambulance in protest and tried to hide his smile. He arrived at the hospital behind them and noticed one particular paramedic grasping the back of his head and this time he didn't hide his smile. He shot him an 'I told you so' look as he accompanied the gurney into the ER.

"DiNozzo, get the Director on the phone…"

"Don't bother Agent DiNozzo…" Jenny stepped towards the gurney and sighed. "How you feeling Jethro?"

"Fine. F-I-N-E. Fine. Now take back your order and let me go home."

"Order?"

Gibbs and Jenny snapped their heads to where Tony should've been but was now heading down the hall way. Almost an hour passed before Gibbs was released and met a familiar face as he came through the ER doors.

"Where'd you disappear to DiNozzo?"

"I had to go to the bathroom…being a hero always makes me have to go." He hoped for a smile and actually got one in return.

"Clever with the whole order thing…too bad it back fired on ya."

He shrugged. "Yeah well. Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Gibbs nodded. "Why'd you lie?"

Tony shuffled his feet and knew his head would soon be coming in contact with friendly fire. "Cuz it's what you would've done boss."

"And when did you become me?"

His throat suddenly became dry. "Guess it was when I thought you were…uh…"

"Dead?" Gibbs finished for him.

Tony snapped his fingers and pointed. "Yeah that."

"Well I'm not. So you can stop now."

His Senior Agent looked almost relieved and smiled. "Stopping right now boss."

Gibbs managed a smile and gave him a swift slap to the back of the head; which Tony received gladly. "Deserved that."

Gibbs slowly shook his head and grabbed hold of his Agents arm. "Naw Tony…you deserve a medal. And first thing tomorrow morning I'm putting you in for one." He reached for the car door and waited a few minutes before Tony snapped back into reality and got into the car beside him. As he turned the ignition and pulled out he got his voice back.

"Don't want a medal boss. Was just doing my job."

Gibbs nodded and the rest of the ride continued in silence; with one thought recurring in his mind…

_Maybe he is becoming me after all. _


	6. Except Gibbs

_No one gets everything right the first time McGee. Except Gibbs. – Abby Scuito_

--

"Cry me a river DiNozzo." He slammed the file down on his desk and fumed for a few seconds. "Just get it done."

Ziva watched as Gibbs stormed out of the bull pen, then turned her head to see Tony storm off in the other direction. Her eyes met McGee's and she made her way over to his desk. "What was all that about?"

Tim shrugged. "Not sure, but that's the second time this week."

"Should we intervene?"

McGee shook his head. "Uh, I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

"And why is that?"

"I learned a long time ago to stay out of family quarrels, the first time I saw Gibbs that mad and tried to ease the tension, I almost went to the ER after the head slap."

She managed a smile then softened it a bit. "Gibbs does nothing wrong yes?"

Tim shrugged. "What do you mean?"

"I have watched him in my short time here. He is seasoned, which would explain his lack of mistakes. But he does not have much mercy when they are made by others less experienced?"

McGee agreed. "He's just tough because he wants us to be. But he does seem to be a little tougher on Tony."

"Why do you think that is?"

"It's kinda like the star athlete on a sports team…the only way they can reach their full potential is by pushing them harder than every one else. The natural skill makes 'em think they don't have to work as hard, when in fact that isn't the case."

She looked a bit confused but nodded anyhow. "So he is the star athlete?"

Tim smiled. "Something like that."

"So we just let them fight and do nothing?"

"Gibbs and Tony don't fight."

"Then what do you call it?"

"They're more like healthy disagreements."

* * *

"The only words I want to hear out of your mouth are…taken care of." Gibbs looked up at a frustrated Anthony DiNozzo.

Tony set the folder down rather harshly on his desk and stepped back with a mock salute. "Taken care of sir. Is there anything else I can do for your sir? Fill your coffee sir? Iron your shirt sir? Maybe answer all your emails sir?"

Ziva and Tim remained silent and watched the 'healthy disagreement' unfold.

"You trying to imply something DiNozzo?" Gibbs stood up slowly.

"Why would you think that?"

"Oh I don't know…just that you've become more of a bastard the longer you've worked here."

Tony gestured towards him. "No explanation needed there."

Gibbs squinted his eyes. "Well, if you want to take on one of my qualities, then learn how to fill out a damn witness report. I've seen Probie's do a better job."

"Then maybe the Probie should be doing it…"

Gibbs pointed up at him. "No one on my team is above any one else….Did you ever stop to think that's why I had you do the damn report in the first place?" Tony shook his head and watched Gibbs come around his desk. "Everything I do has a purpose behind it DiNozzo…whether it's head slapping you or pissing off every Agency we work with. So deal with it."

Tony closed the distance between them to assure he wasn't backing down. "I just wanted a little help! Did you ever stop to think that not every one is as perfect as you are? Everything I do has a purpose behind it too…I don't pick on the Probie just for fun…okay maybe I do…" He sent a smile over to McGee before continuing. "But geez boss, can't you just cool it every once in a while. Handle me with kid's gloves now and then…?" He watched Gibbs shake his head slowly and deliberately. "Just thought I'd ask." He took a step back and slowly paced back behind his desk. He sat down and noticed Gibbs still hadn't moved.

"Anyone else have something to say?"

Tim and Ziva quickly shook their heads, and he slipped back behind his desk. The time to go home came slower than the three of them would've liked. Not to mention one Agent in particular.

"Not so fast DiNozzo…"

He let his head hang low before turning back. "Yeah boss?"

"Kids gloves?"

Tony shrugged. "Sounded good at the time. I was really just spit balling…I don't have the right to tell you how to run the team. Wont happen again." He looked towards the elevator in hope that his response had earned him an exit. He was wrong.

"You think I need to _chill?"_

Tony pinched his fingers together then changed his mind. "No, I was just going off the handle…DiNozzo's are known to do that from time to time. I love you just the way you are boss."

Gibbs nodded and motioned that he could go. As he heard the elevator doors close he contemplated the response running through his mind; and spoke it out loud into the empty bull pen.

"Ditto DiNozzo…Ditto."


	7. Bury Your Dead

_**Gibbs**__: It's not every day people think you're dead, DiNozzo._

_Set after the episode, "Bury Your Dead."_

_--_

When the night was finally winding down Tony wasn't sure what to do. It was one of those nights where he didn't want to go home; but didn't want to be at work either. He figured a bar was a safe enough spot but with one downside; he'd eventually have to go home. Part of him wanted to default and drive to Jeanne's but would quickly remind himself that was no longer an option. He decided to reorganize his desk to stall his decision making when a shadow cast itself over it.

"Leaving soon boss…just tidying up a few things."

Gibbs examined the disaster that was Tony's desk and agreed. "Have you cleaned your desk since you started here DiNozzo?"

Tony managed a small smile and shook his head. "It would appear not." His eyes still hadn't looked up. "Night boss."

Gibbs shadow remained. "Go home Tony. It's been a hell of a day."

Tony agreed. "Tell me about it." He rubbed his temples slightly and shifted a few paper piles to the floor. "I uh, want to finish this boss."

"Why tonight?"

He still hadn't looked up. "Want to accomplish something that won't blow up in my face. You know, no one can say I didn't clean it enough or tell me where to put my stapler."

Gibbs had to smile as Tony started moving things into desk drawers. He reached out and grabbed hold of his Senior Agents hands. "Stop Tony. Go home."

He shook his head and slowly but surely met Gibb's eyes. "No."

It was a simple response; however uncommon and Gibbs could do nothing but let it go. "Okay." He let go of Tony's hands and stared down at him for a few moments longer. Something in his eyes sent a message to his Senior Agent that only he understood.

"I know boss. I know."

Gibbs nodded and turned towards the elevator doors. His drive home contained the usual silence that also encompassed his home. After a late dinner and a few touches on his boat; he headed for some much needed sleep. He laid awake until he heard the sound of his front door opening and slowly closed his eyes.

"Night DiNozzo."

Tony stopped his tip toeing down the hall and smiled. "Night boss."


	8. Loyal St Bernard

_**Gibbs**__: Ziva caved first, then McGee and my loyal St. Bernard last._

_--_

Days after Gibbs comment Tony got to thinking. Sure his boss had given him an odd sort of a compliment…but he wondered if there was a bit more to it than that.

"St. Bernard's are gentle, friendly, and tolerant of children. Extremely loyal, this breed is eager to please its owners but due to its size, it is essential that proper training and socialization begin early in life... An unruly St Bernard presents a problem for even a strong adult so _control needs to be asserted from the beginning_ …"

Ziva couldn't help over hear Tony whispering to himself and stealthy placed herself behind his chair. "What you reading Tony?"

He lined down the window and looked behind him. "Nothing really…"

"Thinking of getting a dog?"

"Maybe."

"Never figured you as a _mans best friend_ kinda guy."

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. "Well there's a lot you don't know about me Ziva…"

"Such as?"

"I'm just full of surprises."

"I'll second that." Gibbs strode in and stopped in front of Tony's desk. "What's the pow wow about?" He looked at Ziva who was standing awkwardly close to Tony's chair.

"Tony is getting a dog…"

He put his hand up. "_Thinking…_of getting a dog. Big difference."

"Really DiNozzo…what kind?"

He shrugged. "Haven't decided yet boss."

"Why the sudden urge? Get the puppy dog eyes from one in pet shop window?"

He hid his smile; he loved when Gibbs attempted humor. "No particular reason. Just got the itch…"

"Literally." Ziva gave_ her_ attempt at humor before heading behind her own desk.

When time came to leave; Tony stayed over to conclude his research.

"A generalized description of the St. Bernard breed would include superlatives such as loyal, intelligent, calm, powerful, and dignified. A St. Bernard that is well socialized from puppy hood, comes from a good to excellent bloodline (a.k.a. pedigree) and has been trained in at least the basic manners…will be non aggressive, naturally protective, and totally trustworthy. These dogs tend to be reserved with strangers and they do an excellent job of being watch dogs. St. Bernard's should not be expected to be guard dogs due to their non aggressive manner. This does not mean that the St. Bernard is a coward, far from it. The breed's history demonstrates the valiant and determined power of this dog as pathfinders, load carriers and agile rescuers. They make for loving and compassionate companions, and are gregarious with those whom they know as friends."

"Sounds like a good fit to me." Gibbs appeared behind his Senior Agent and startled him a bit.

"Hey boss…just doing some research."

Gibbs squinted at the screen. "Really gonna get one huh?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know, I'm not home a lot…dogs like that need special attention."

Gibbs reached for his coat and left with a smile. "Tell me about it."

--

AN: Information extracted from: www.profile/stbern.htm & Wikipedia :)

Hope you caught ALL the parallels :)


	9. You Didnt Say Anything About My Neck

_**Gibbs**__: McGee?!  
__**McGee**__: Yo!  
__**Gibbs**__: Sketch, get close enough without breaking your neck.  
__**McGee**__: On it!  
__**Gibbs**__: DiNozzo, photos! __(Pauses)__ Is there a problem?  
__**Tony**__: Well, you didn't say anything about my neck. __(Gibbs stares Tony down)__ Uh... I'll be careful._

--

Jethro Gibbs never thought he'd see the day when he'd be accompanying one of his Agents in an ambulance after an accident at a crime scene. The passing thoughts of his Agents getting hurt were just that; passing thoughts. He never meditated on them long enough; in fear they may one day become a reality. And today was one of those days.

"Take care of him." Gibbs stare about sent the paramedic into a coronary as they lifted the gurney off the back of the ambulance.

"Will do sir."

He jogged slowly behind them as they made a B-line for surgery. They had stabilized him the best they could and used the cliché Gibbs hoped he'd never have to hear… _"All we can do now is hope for the best." _He'd discounted their reasoning and formulated his own. Tony was going to be fine. Just fine, and that's all there was to it.

Shortly after his arrival; his team arrived one by one. The barrage of questions sent in his direction was more than he would've liked. "He's in surgery. Don't know anything yet, so don't ask me how he is." His phrase stopped the questions and he quickly met Abby's embrace. "Did you secure the rest of the scene?"

McGee and Ziva nodded.

"Good. Take Abby back to NCIS with you. Start processing."

Abby stared at Gibbs and shook her head. "Not going anywhere till we know he's okay Gibbs."

"Abby, listen to me. You cant do anything for him right now. I need you back there; finding us a lead."

She almost slapped him. "How could you possibly be thinking about the case right now? Tony is in there Gibbs! Our Tony…your Tony. The one you show love to by slapping him upside the head. The one who stood across from you when Kate was shot. The one who sometimes worries more about you than I do…"

"I know who it is Abs."

"Then act like it." She turned away and stormed towards the reception desk. McGee wasn't far behind.

Gibbs stared back at her for a few moments before turning to Ziva. "Did you interview the witnesses?"

Ziva simply nodded before following McGee and Abby; leaving Gibbs alone in the middle of the hallway. That was until Jenny arrived. "Sit Rep?"

"The scene's been processed. Ziva interviewed the witnesses and evidence is waiting at NCIS…."

She stared at him for a few moments then noticed the rest of his team standing near the reception desk. "I meant here."

Gibbs threw his hands up. "Well my team hates me and DiNozzo is on the brink of death after falling down a damn hill…think that about covers it." He stormed towards the exit and stopped when he reached some fresh air. Jen slowly but surely made her way over to his team.

"Any update on his condition?"

Abby had her armed wrapped around McGee while Ziva came to the fore front. "Nothing. Too soon in surgery."

"And the mutiny?" She looked behind and motioned towards the now pacing Gibbs outside the entrance.

Abby was the first to cave. "I may have been a little harsh."

Jenny put a hand on her hip like a disappointed Mother. "A little?"

She removed herself from Tim's side and almost ran outside into Gibbs arms. He was just turning around when she threw her arms around him and he lost his balance a bit. "Sorry Gibbs…I know you love Tony. I shouldn't have reacted like that; I'm just scared you know…"

He nodded and released from the embrace. "I know Abs. Me too."

"This is just crazy. He's not supposed to get hurt taking pictures."

He didn't have a response and simply let his head hang low. She gently reached out for his hand and motioned inside. "Come on…" He followed her inside slowly and the group of them met together in the hall way.

Jenny spoke first. "Surgery could take anywhere between five and ten hours. There is no need for all of you to stay."

Abby squeezed Gibbs hand in response. "The case…could you give it to Jamesosn team? He owes me one."

She wasn't as shocked to hear him say it then she thought she would be. "I'll take care of it." She slipped on her coat. "Keep me informed."

Gibbs nodded as he watched her leave and turned to McGee. "Ducky?"

"He said he'd be on his way as soon as he escorted the body and got Palmer started. Should be here any time."

"Listen about before…"

"Don't apologize Gibbs, it's a sign of weakness." Ziva managed a smile that somehow reassured their leader all was forgiven.

* * *

After about four hours of pacing Gibbs finally took a seat. For the second time that day Abby reached for his hand and it helped calm him a bit. His thoughts consisted of any number of questions…Could he of prevented it? Why didn't he warn Tony like he had McGee? They were keeping his mind occupied from the one thought he didn't want to think about…What would he do if Tony died?

He didn't have to wait long for an answer.

The four stood up at the sight of the white lab coat and no one said a word.

"Next of kin?"

Gibbs stepped forward. "What's his condition?"

He motioned for Gibbs to step away from the group but he declined. "What you say to me you can say to them."

He nodded. "The surgery was successful, but I'm afraid there's a chance he may be paralyzed. We wont know till the anesthesia wears off; but we'd like someone familiar there when it does."

Abby curled into Gibbs side and hid her face in his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and looked towards Ziva and McGee. "When?"

"Within the next hour."

Gibbs agreed and motioned for Tim to help Abby. "Take me to him."

* * *

He entered the room and stood beside his bed solemnly. "There will be nurses in and our periodically. If he awakes just press that button there." He nodded but kept his eyes glued to his Senior Agent. He reached out towards him then hesitated. "You wont hurt him Agent Gibbs."

"Is he in pain?"

"None that we're aware of. But we can't be entirely sure until the anesthetic wears off."

Gibbs nodded his thanks and watched him leave. He gently placed a hand on Tony's arm. "What I tell you about those designer shoes DiNozzo? I knew something like this would happen eventually." He tried to laugh but couldn't. "God, you better come out of this Tony or so help me I'll break your legs myself."

After an hour of silence, he looked down to see his Agent's eye lids slide open. "Nurse!" He pressed the button and watched a slue of people enter the room.

"Mr. DiNozzo…you're at a hospital. You were in an accident."

"Hill?"

"Yes."

He turned his head to see Gibbs standing over him. "Mad?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I'll be even more pissed if you don't do what they ask."

The Doctor lifted the blankets and stood at the end of the bed. "Need you to move your left leg."

Tony's eyes squinted and he looked up his boss. The look in his eyes resembled what he thought to be fear. Gibbs stare then moved from Tony's eyes to his Agents leg. _Come on DiNozzo…you can do it. _

The moment he saw him move it; he just about leapt off the ground himself. He watched him pass the other tests and had to smile. "That's good work Tony."

He mirrored his smile. "This mean you're not mad boss?"

Gibbs finally reached out but not for his hand. "How many times do I have to tell you about those shoes?"

Tony welcomed the gentle head slap and grinned. "Wont happen again boss."

"Damn right it won't. Cuz your nine lives are running out."

"Didn't know you were keeping track."

Gibbs smiled. "What kind of Father would I be if I didn't?"

Tony didn't have the opportunity to respond to the comment; as he was soon bombarded by the rest of his team.

"He going to be alright Jethro?"

Gibbs nodded and met Tony's eyes amidst the celebration. "Yeah, he's gonna be just fine…"


	10. Post Grace Period

_Set After Grace Period_

--

Everything about this day was wrong. The sun was shining, the wind blew gently and Agent Paula Cassidy was being laid to rest. Agents from every Agency Tony knew of were present; and even some from ones he'd never heard of. The cemetery was filled with family and friends and had it been any other occasion he knew Paula would've loved it. She told him once how close she was with her parents and he almost envied her. But not today. He managed to stay long enough to watch the casket lower into the ground and the masses begin to clear out. He watched as Paula's father dragged her mother away in grief; and made a mental note to call his own Dad sooner rather than later. After what seemed liked hours he was finally alone with her. Or so he thought.

He picked up the scattered roses from around the site and tossed the remainder of them downward in one fell swoop. "I told her I loved her last night…" He took in a short breath. "But I'm sorry I never told _you_ what you meant to me. I guess in death the eyes are opened too late; and I've definitely learned an important lesson. Which isn't easy for me, I know." He managed a smile and slowly knelt down. "Goodbye Cassidy. Thank you."

He turned around to see a familiar face staring back at him. "Hey boss."

Gibbs nodded in return and motioned for Tony to walk with him. When they reached their respective cars, Tony reached out for his arm. But before he could open his mouth to speak; Gibbs did.

"I know DiNozzo. I know." He removed Tony's hand from his arm and placed his own on Tony's shoulder.

"How?"

"Actions speak louder than words Tony. That should always be enough."

Tony nodded and took one final look towards the grave site before reaching for the car door. "Were you standing behind me the whole time boss?"

He watched as Gibbs simply smiled before slipping into his car and driving away.

Guess actions do speak louder than words after all.


	11. Post Judgement Day

_Set after closing scene in Judgement Day_

--

"I'm not saying goodbye, because this isn't goodbye."

Ziva shook her head. "It is Tony. We must all come to terms with it."

"Not gonna happen."

"And why is that?"

"Three words…Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

She tossed her hands in the air. "He is not God, Tony."

"He's not?" He tried to laugh but meeting her stare dampened it. "Listen, its simple…tragedy comes…the boss handles it…we move on."

"Agent Todd?"

Tony nodded. "He let you on the team didn't he?"

"He was ordered to."

"Gibbs isn't ordered to do anything he knows isn't good for us." He took a seat at his desk and watched her continue to pack up her things. He then watched McGee stride in from the elevator and stand over his desk.

"Just met the new staff I'll be working with. They seem okay."

"Good for you Probie, but don't worry. Things will be back to our crazy normalcy in no time."

McGee had to smile. "Really?"

Ziva then stepped in. "Do not get his hopes up Tony. He does not deserve your false hope."

Tim shrugged. "False hope?"

"Don't listen to her McGenius, the Cyber geeks will not become your new family just yet."

"This is absurd. You cannot base the direction of our lives on your hero worship." She tossed a few final things into her bags and paced back towards Tim. She embraced him gently and offered her goodbye. She then stared at Tony awaiting his response.

"I'm not saying it Ziva."

She continued her stare and swallowed the lump forming in her throat before turning to leave. She subsequently passed Gibbs at her entrance into the elevator. She stood up a bit taller and gently kissed his cheek. "Thank you for everything."

"This isn't over."

She tried to smile. "I'm afraid I've been given all the false hope I can take." She slipped into the elevator and stared intently at Gibbs as the doors came to a close.

He entered into the bull pen and watched McGee approach him. "Why'd you let her go boss?"

Gibbs only stared back at him then turned to his Senior Agent. "DiNozzo…with me." He motioned that he follow him towards the elevator and quietly stepped inside. They remained in silence for what seemed like hours before he reached for the switch.

"I'm flattered."

Tony shook his head and did his best at looking confused. "I'm sorry?"

"As much I as I'd like to think so, I'm not God."

"Boss, I was just telling them that you'd figure it out..."

"And if I don't?"

Tony wasn't sure how to respond and simply shook his head. "Then I'd be wrong."

"And I'd fall off the little pedestal you have me on. Well news flash DiNozzo, I'm not God. Never claimed to be. And sometimes life isn't fair…sometimes you don't have all the answers…sometimes bad things happen. I don't have all the answers. I never have."

He slowly took a step back. "Then it's over."

Gibbs reached for the back of his head and closed the distance between them. "I never said that DiNozzo."

"Sorry boss."

"Just do me a favor, the next time you decide I'm gonna save the world. Clue me in on it."

Tony tried to hide his smile. "So you saying there's gonna be a next time?"

Gibbs flipped the switch and slowly got off on the Directors floor. "You haven't doubted me before Tony, don't start now."

And this time he didn't hide his smile as he watched his boss walk away. "Wouldn't dream of it boss…wouldn't dream of it."


	12. Oh Sorry

_**Tony:** If I heard there were gonna be tests on a navy ship, do you think we'd still be standing here boss?_

_**Gibbs**__: Oh__** sorry**__, forgot your minds working currently._

--

"You must've mis-heard him Tony." Kate added as she started to sift through her purse.

"Like you misplaced your deodorant?"

She looked up and became immediately disgusted. "You didn't? Not again."

"It's either that or you complain all day about my aroma. I figure it'd be the lesser of two evils."

Kate simply rolled her eyes as she set her purse down. "You are special Tony."

"So you're agreeing he said he was sorry."

"You're not _that_ special."

"I'm telling you Kate he said it. And it wasn't the first time."

"And you're an expert on first times right?"

He stood up and hovered over her desk. "Not on everyone, want to enlighten me?"

Within seconds his head was thrust forward by a familiar force. "Leave her alone DiNozzo."

He apologized but didn't leave for his desk. "Boss, we're just trying to clear something up. Kate seems to think you didn't say you were sorry yesterday, and well, I thought maybe you could tell her that you did."

"Since you're so concerned with my eye sight DiNozzo, maybe it's time you got your hearing checked."

Kate grinned and watched Tony frown a bit. She reached out and squeezed his cheek. "You may also want to talk to your doctor about personal hygiene?"

He looked a bit defeated as he retreated behind his own desk. The end of the day came sooner rather than later. Kate tossed him her deodorant stick as her good night and it didn't take long before Gibbs was hovering over Tony's desk.

"Night boss." Tony offered, but looked up to see Gibbs hadn't left. "I'm made the appointment for later this week."

"Cancel it."

"Cancel it?"

Gibbs had to smile. "Okay maybe you should keep it." He watched Tony look up at him confused. "Your hearing is fine DiNozzo."

"I thought so too boss, but you said…"

"Forget what I said. Cancel the appointment."

Tony managed a smile. "I knew it. I knew it."

Gibbs put his hand up and watched Tony cower a bit before turning to leave. When he reached the elevator he turned back for a moment. "And Hey DiNozzo…"

"Yeah boss?"

"You are _that_ special."

A grin immediately flashed on Tony's face and he sat up a bit taller.

"Tell anyone and you'll need more than a hearing appointment with your doctor."


	13. If They Were Dead I'd Know About It

Episode: Boxed In, Season 3

**McGee:** Boss…should we put divers in the water?

**Gibbs:** They're not dead McGee. If they were dead I'd know about it. They're not dead.

--

"Why wouldn't he of put divers in the water Probie? With that cross fire, any investigator would've done that."

Tim shrugged. "He just knew."

"He just knew? Like how?"

McGee threw on his coat. "Here's a thought, ask him yourself. I'm going home."

"Probie come on…" He watched Tim leave rather quickly then fell back into his chair defeated.

"Go home DiNozzo. It's late."

He sat up as Gibbs strode by his desk. "On it boss." But as he reached for his coat his curiosity got the best of him. "Can I uh…ask you a question?" He watched Gibbs turn and stare; then suddenly changed his mind. "You're right it's late. Night boss."

When he reached the elevator he saw a shadow cast itself on the doors and was startled a bit. "Scared me boss."

Gibbs almost smiled. "Doesn't take much huh?"

"Just a little jumpier than usual. Spending a whole day in an enclosed space with Ziva will do that to a man."

Gibbs watched as the doors opened and noticed Tony hadn't gotten in. "You just hit the button to watch it light up again DiNozzo?"

"Ha, no boss."

"Then ask your question. I'm tired."

"It's a stupid question really…"

Gibbs shrugged. "As stupid as your question about how high I wear my socks?"

"It was a legitimate question boss. Tells a lot about a person."

"And what do you want to know about me_ now_ Tony?"

Tony shuffled his feet then stepped aside so awaiting elevator patrons could get on. "Okay, so under any normal circumstances you would've put divers in the water…you didn't today…why?"

Gibbs gave a wry smile. " It wasn't a normal circumstance."

"Well yeah I know it was _us_ boss. But normal as in…well…normal."

Gibbs pointed at him. "You guys aren't normal."

Tony managed a smile but sighed. "Come on boss, really, McGee said you knew we weren't dead…now you're good but nobodies that good…" he stopped himself. "Not even Magnum's little voice or Hannibal's jazz is that good…"

"_I'm_ that good." Gibbs said simply then read the expression on his Agents face. "I just knew DiNozzo…why isn't that enough for you?"

Tony shrugged. "Told you it was a stupid question." He turned towards the elevator and hit the button. "See you in the morning." When it arrived he stepped in but wasn't alone for long. The lights were dimmed within seconds and he knew he wasn't going very far.

"I asked you a question." Gibbs wasn't one to beat around the bush and this time was no different.

Tony stared at him for a few seconds. "I asked first."

"I answered."

"You evaded." Tony took in a breath and suddenly started to sweat a bit.

"What do you want a novel? I'm not McGee."

Tony agreed. "No, you're Gibbs. And I'm just trying to…never mind." He reached for the switch but Gibbs stepped in front of it.

"Trying to what? Figure me out?" He tried to pace but soon realized he was in an enclosed space. "And what makes me so interesting Tony?"

"It was _just_ a stupid question." He muttered to himself, but loud enough for Gibbs to hear him.

"I'm not a jigsaw puzzle that needs figuring out." He reached for the switch and the lights came on instantly. When they reached the garage floor the two went their separate ways. Tony's hand was on his car door for minutes before he turned around to get an answer. He didn't have to go far.

"Going somewhere DiNozzo?"

Tony had to smile. "Guess not."

"Listen, I don't have an easy answer to your question."

"It's okay boss."

"No Tony, it isn't. I can't explain my gut feelings anymore than I can tell you how I knew you two weren't dead today. But I do know that some things _can't_ be explained. That a good enough answer for you?"

Tony simply nodded. "Next time I'll keep the stupid questions to myself."

Gibbs shook his head. "Believe me you'll know when I think a question is stupid."

Tony suddenly snapped his fingers. "I think I know how you knew today boss."

Gibbs threw his hands up and scoffed. "Is that right DiNozzo?"

"Oh sure, it's like when TC, Rick and Higgins somehow knew Magnum was in trouble when he got knocked over on his surf ski on the 4th of July…"

"English…"

"It's a unique bond boss. Something special. And I don't know about you, but I'm grateful for it. Whether it can be explained or not."

Gibbs smiled and a feeling of gratefulness overcame him as well. "Me too DiNozzo, me too." He motioned towards his car. "Now go home…"

Tony nodded and took a few steps before turning back. "Oh and boss?"

"Yeah?"

"Just one more question…" He watched Gibbs smile fade. "You know, I just forgot it..." He reached for his keys. "Night boss."

"Night DiNozzo."


	14. Post Judgement Day II

_Set Post Judgment Day Closing Scene_

--

Gibbs hadn't said a word, but in a way Tony hadn't expected him to. Just wished he would. But not all wishes come true. That Anthony DiNozzo Junior was sure of. He'd promised Ziva he'd write. He'd promised McGee occasional emails and a video conference with Abby as often as he could. Promised Ducky a few long distance phone calls. But even after all the promises he only wanted one thing. A simple goodbye. A good luck. An I'll miss you. But Gibbs never flinched, never once sent a glance in his direction as he packed up his desk. He began to wonder if he'd miss him at all. He contemplated what he could possibly promise to his boss. He hated email. Would break video conference equipment. Wasn't much of a conversationalist so phone calls were out. And didn't have the patience for letters. What was left?

Tony had piled up the last of his things near the elevator before pacing back to the entrance of the bull pen. He was wistful as he remembered all that had taken place there. Kate. Paula. All the head slaps, the detective work and above all the justice. He watched once again as Gibbs eyes shifted away from his and went to retrieve one final box. He paced over and placed it in front of his boss with a nod. "Thought you might want to have these medals now boss. May never get the chance to give 'em back to ya." He turned to leave with the vain hope that Gibbs would come running after him into the elevator, but no such luck. He went home that night and did his best to get some sleep before shipping out that following morning.

As he arrived at the final checkpoint to board his ship, something in him still hoped to see Gibbs waving as the ship left port. But he knew better than to get his hopes up.

Hours later, he settled into his cabin and a knock came at the door.

"Package for you sir."

Tony took it without hesitation and closed the door slowly. He sat down on his bunk and opened the box to see all of Gibbs medals staring back at him. A small note was attached.

"_Ducky once told me that true goodbyes are the ones never said or explained. And to be quite honest I thought it was just a lousy cliché until now. You should know I don't have to muddle over a tearful goodbye for you to know how I feel. So let these medals be a reminder that I wouldn't just trust anyone with them. Make your own legacy DiNozzo. And smack yourself upside the head every once in a while; it'll help keep you humble. In that case make it more than once in a while. _

_And send me a letter sometime. Just keep it short, breaking this new team in is gonna be hell. _

_-Gibbs_

Tony couldn't reach for a piece of paper and pen fast enough as he fought back the tears welling up in his eyes. He thought for a minute before scribbling it down and sending if off as soon as he could.

_Dear boss, _

_I miss you._

_- Tony_


	15. I Still Have Much To Learn Master

_Episode: Escaped, Season 4_

_**Tony to Gibbs**__: I still have much to learn Master. _

_--_

"I still can't believe you admitted it." Ziva shot back as she settled in after lunch.

"Whatever."

"Whatever?"

Tony peered up at the ceiling. "Is there an echo?"

She pointed at him. "You just whatever-ed me, you've never done that to me before."

"I haven't done a lot of things to you before, but I survive somehow…"

She got up from behind her desk and stood over his. "You are _so_ not okay with him being back…yet you sit there as if you are. You are not fooling me."

"Whatever."

Ziva leaned in closer and forced him to acknowledge her. "You are upset. Disappointed. Angry even…"

"And when did you become an expert on how I'm feeling?"

"Since you hid an under cover operation from all of us; I made it a point to play closer attention."

He sat up straight and leaned in to meet her previous invasion of his space. "How much closer?"

"Close enough."

He suddenly leaned back and immediately focused on his computer. "You two done?" Gibbs added as he strode in; startling Ziva and sending her back behind her desk.

"Over before it began boss." Tony spouted back and intentionally avoided eye contact with Ziva.

"David, need you down in the evidence Garage helping McGee and Abby."

She resisted asking about Tony's duties and did as she was told; but not before engaging Tony in a stare down. At her exit; Gibbs stood silently over his Senior Agents desk.

"What was that about?"

"What?" He watched as Gibbs didn't respond. "Oh that…well, when you quit—retired…She and I started having stare down contests. You know, who blinked first kind of thing…needless to say, we both got quite good at it. I always lost miserably; but with dignity."

"Do you think because I left; I suddenly got dumber?"

"Not a chance. Was stupid to think I could fool you."

"Very stupid."

"Yeah well, some things never change." He slipped out of his desk chair and started to file some papers away. Then turned back to find Gibbs inches from his face. "I've gotten better boss, but I'm not gonna win against you." He tried to step aside but Gibbs stepped with him. "Did I miss something?"

"Yeah, like what's got David all hot and bothered?"

"You should ask her boss. I'm a slow a learner."

"Now that's an understatement."

With that response; Tony stepped aside more quickly and collided with the end of Gibbs shoulder in the process; but didn't seem to care.

"Now that's rich." Gibbs let a smile cross his face.

Tony turned to him. "What is?"

"You make wisecracks putting yourself down. Then get pissed when people agree with you. Explain that."

He set down the rest of the files in his hand. "Guess I can't."

"Well let me help you…somewhere down the line, someone fed you a line of bull about how you'd never amount to anything…and for some reason beyond my comprehension, you cant seem to prove that person wrong."

"Maybe it's cuz they were right."

"You're the only person who knows that for sure." He stated plainly as if ending the conversation and headed towards the elevator.

"Well what do you think?" Tony shouted back towards him and watched as Gibbs slowly but surely made his way back.

Gibbs then stood in silence for a few moments and examined Tony's expression. He almost looked sad. "Tony, what would you do for me?"

"I'd walk through hell for you boss."

Gibbs pointed up at him. "And you somehow think that I'd put my life, and the life of my team in the hands of an incompetent, good for nothing kid?"

Tony suddenly understood. "Thanks boss."

"Now, get down to the evidence garage before David kills McGee and Abby."

And Tony did so with an element of pride; because some things never change; but something did that day.


	16. Bitter Sweet

AN: Was going to post this as a seperate one shot, but decided it would fit well into this series after all.

--

It was bitter cold that day.

That day in late December when the rest of the world sat around Christmas trees and shared laughter around the dinner table; one man sat alone and let snow cover his dark over coat. He knelt onto the frozen ground and wiped the headstone clean. He wondered where the time had gone; wishing and hoping every day that he'd wake up to the end of the nightmare he'd been living the last two years. He shifted his weight as his aging knees started to ache. The cold didn't help; except to dry the tears on his face. Occasionally he would smile; but just occasionally. It was there he sat alone, in a fairly empty cemetery of a town he was a stranger in. He stared at the name staring back at him; and his heart broke all over again. And he couldn't help but wonder if it was whole to begin with. Then after what seemed like days, but was only a few hours, he gave his best attempt at leaving. But realized he hadn't done what he set out to due in the first place.

"I'm reminded every day of my God forsaken life; how I let you down. How much you counted on me to be there…and I wasn't. I've spent nights drowning away the guilt; but every damn December, it's as if you die in my arms all over again. Damnit, why'd you do that Tony? Why'd you take the hit meant for me?" He resisted the urge to slam his fist into the head stone and took to kneeling once more. "I should've died that day DiNozzo…why couldn't you of let it be me?" He placed his hand at the top of the stone and let his head rest on it as if the last few hours had taken everything he had left. "I'm not mad. I'm not mad…And no; I didn't come to yell at ya. Guess, old habits die hard." He let a wry smile fall across his face; but it slowly melted back into a frown.

"I just came to say…I'm sorry." He lifted his head up and nodded as if finally putting to rest something he never could. "And I miss you Tony…every day."

It was bitter cold that day. As it was with every December that passed; but Leroy Jethro Gibbs would never forget; never stop remembering; and never stop being sorry.


	17. Never Wanted To Lie To You Boss

_**Tony**__:_ _"I never wanted to lie to you boss…"_

Season 5, Episode 1: Bury Your Dead

* * *

"Okay, if Tony does another nice thing for the boss I'm gonna puke." McGee offered; as he and Ziva watched him set down Gibbs third cup of coffee.

"Lay on McGee, he feels bad. He's trying to make down for it."

Tim shook his head. "You do realize you just butchered two colloquialisms in one phrase?"

Ziva sighed. "You are correct though. He may be taking this guilt thing a little too far..."

* * *

Tony appeared in front of Gibbs desk shortly after the rest of the team had gone home. "I've completed my reports and already made copies for you and the Director." He set the file down in Gibbs inbox. "Need anything before I head home boss?"

"No."

Tony nodded. "You sure? I can stay, I mean if you need help with those requisitions…I know how you hate that stuff. Not that you need help doing anything cuz clearly you don't, I'm just offering my services…" He cleared his throat. "Not that my services are any better than yours boss. Just letting you know that I can stay if you need me…not that you need me…"

"DiNozzo…"

"Yes boss?"

"Shut up before you hurt yourself." He waved his hands towards the elevator. "Go home."

"Going home now boss." He turned around quickly and slipped on his side arm before slowly making his way to the elevator. "You're sure I cant help…" He met Gibbs stare. "Never mind." He slipped into the elevator and watched as the doors almost came to a close…

Gibbs hands parted the elevator doors and Tony looked up. "Something I can do for you after all boss?"

Gibbs nodded and stepped in beside him. "Yeah, start acting like the old DiNozzo…"

The power was turned off within seconds and all Tony could do was sigh. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Oh spare me the BS Tony…I'm too tired. You've been hovering over me for days, and frankly I'm sick of it…"

"I wouldn't call it hovering…more like…"

"I don't care what you call it. Just stop. Understood?"

Tony nodded. "Understood." He reached to flip the switch to save his boss the trouble and Gibbs met him with a head slap.

"See what I mean?"

Tony shrugged. "I just thought it'd be nice if I got that for ya."

"That's just it Tony…quit being so damn nice. It's really starting to piss me off."

He pointed up at him. "You do realize how twisted that sounds right?"

Gibbs moved his hand aside. "You either get off whatever guilt trip you're on, or I'm gonna put you off it permanently."

"I'm pretty sure you can't fire me for me for being nice…"

"Who said anything about firing?" He stared down his Agent; in an attempt to instill some fear into him. "I was gonna let you get through this phase; but after a whole week I couldn't take it any more…it's in the past Tony…let it stay there."

"I just…I know how you feel about apologies so I thought I'd take a different approach. I really feel bad boss…"

"I know you do DiNozzo. But you didn't feel bad enough to tell me when you were undercover did you?"

Tony's eyes shifted to the ground. "I was following orders."

"Exactly." Gibbs voice became increasingly louder. "So stop trying to make it up to me. It's liable to get you killed."

"It won't affect my field work boss."

"I meant by me." He swiftly head slapped his Senior Agent in a hope to knock some sense into him. "You ready to let his go?"

Tony shuffled his feet and looked up. "Yeah."

"Good." He reached for the switch and watched the doors open before standing in between them. "And that whole getting me coffee all day thing…"

"I get it, I'll stop."

Gibbs shook his head. "The hell you will…"


	18. Post Hiatus

_Post Hiatus_, _Dedicated to Supergirl3684, Get Well Soon! :)_

* * *

Having a child is an experience in and of itself. Any parent will tell you; there is nothing like it. Some call it a miracle; others a defining moment in their lives. Others will say; that for the first time in their lives they are completely willing to sacrifice anything necessary for their little bundle of joy. Parenthood has been called challenging and amazing all at once. It has caused the toughest men to cry; and the weak to become strong. It is a God given directive; and one that is a privilege more than anything. You're their protector, their friend, their provider. You're their parent…no matter what may come.

* * *

"I can come with you." Ziva offered as Tony finished off his paper work for leave.

He shook his head. "Thanks, but with the boss man retiring to Mexico; it's just you and the Probie till I get back. I need you here."

She reluctantly agreed. "I suppose someone must keep things in order until you return. You're certain you'll be alright?"

Tony slipped on his side arm and nodded. "The funeral is just technicality Ziva; my Father was dead to me a long time ago." He threw his bag over his shoulder. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will." She watched him leave and solemnly returned to her desk. She twisted a few paper clips to shreds in an attempt to distract her. She wanted so badly to help; but knew Tony was a tough nut to crack; much like their former leader. It was then she snapped her fingers and headed down to Abby's lab. Maybe there was a way she could help after all…

* * *

The funeral consisted of all the pleasantries a DiNozzo funeral often had. Except this time; it was more dreary than reverent. His Father was well respected and well liked. Everyone's best friend. Well almost everyone's anyway.

Tony stood closest to the casket; but felt like he should've been placed behind the crowd. The resentment and guilt had to be covering his face; no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

As the ceremony came to a close; he exchanged handshakes and kisses just like a respectable DiNozzo should. He was amazed at the number of people present; and even the amount of grief on people's faces. Had he really been that great of a man to everyone but him?

Moments later; the crowd began to disperse but Tony had his eyes fixed on the casket as it lowered. His mind was like a movie reel…His Mother, Kate, Paula…all people he'd loved and all people he'd wished he had just one more minute with. He had shed tears for them; but not for his own Father? The man who raised him; taught him; _loved_ him? He never made his peace; never shared how he really felt. And once again; it was too late.

It was at that thought; Tony's head snapped towards a familiar voice.

"Better late than never DiNozzo."

"Boss?"

Gibbs nodded as he stood a few feet away like a fixture. A beard covered his face and his attire was anything but appropriate. "Not anymore." He watched as Tony stared at him dumbfounded. "Anyone ever tell you it's impolite to stare?"

Tony shot him a trying smile. "I can't believe you're here…not that you don't care, I know you care, but I mean…who told you?"

"That's not important; what's important is making your peace." He gestured towards the hole in the ground.

"What difference could it possibly make now?"

Gibbs head cocked sideways as he examined him. He had watched him the entire service; and noticed he hadn't shed a tear. He was almost an eerie picture of his former self. "I've been where you are. It matters."

Tony sighed at the reference to his wife and daughter; the news still very fresh in his mind. "I'd feel weird you know, talking to a dead body, I'm not Ducky…"

Gibbs managed a wry smile before taking a few steps towards him. "Then pretend I'm him. What would you say?"

"Wont work. My dad was much shorter, pretty big gut…always clean shaven…I mean you're a lean mean fighting machine, I don't think it'll work." He then received a swift head slap and smiled. "Missed that."

Gibbs glared. "I'm gonna make you wish you didn't say that."

Tony threw his hands up. "Okay but, I feel awkward." He swallowed hard as he looked into Gibbs eyes; and tried to imagine his own Father standing in front of him. "I'd uh, I'd say how sorry I was…"

"Then tell me."

Tony shuffled his feet as his eyes started to water and he locked his gaze back to Gibbs eyes. "I'm sorry I never told you that I loved you enough. It became more of a formality between us; than a phrase that really meant something. I'm not sure what happened to us…but I know Mom would've loved to see us hanging out more…playing catch and all that…" He stopped to clear his throat; but continued to fight the tears back. "I want you to know that…I did…a lot…and I wish we would've made more time…then I would've told you…that I…"

In that moment he lunged himself into Gibbs arms and didn't hold the tears back anymore. "That you what Tony?"

"That…I love you dad." He clenched onto Gibbs back; and held on for dear life.

Gibbs gently placed a hand behind his head as if holding him in place and ignored the tight grip Tony had on him. He let him cry as long as he needed and was sure to let Tony be the one who initiated the release. When he did Gibbs simply stood by speechless.

"Thanks boss…guess it made more of a difference than I thought." He wiped away the final tears with his sleeve and stared back towards the grave site.

"You have no idea how much DiNozzo."

Tony shifted his weight and turned back. "Thanks for coming boss…uh…Gibbs."

He nodded. "Good thing I didn't wear a nice suit, you would've had to pay to get it cleaned." He gestured towards his tear stained shirt and managed a smile.

"Yeah, but I bet you never thought you'd see me cry like that eh?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Bet you'd say the same thing about me."

Tony wanted more of an explanation on that comment but elected now wasn't the best time. "So…headed back to Mexico right away?"

"Mikes roof isn't gonna fix itself."

Tony slipped his hands into his pockets and his gaze fell to the ground. "I see."

"Why?"

"I don't know, just thought since you came…maybe you were back. But you know me and my wishful thinking..."

Gibbs motioned towards the car. "Yeah, that's one thing I don't miss."

Tony couldn't resist "That mean, there are some things you do miss?"

"Just drive me to the airport Tony." He gestured towards the car and watched as Tony glanced once more towards his Father's grave. "Guess I should I finish the role play eh?"

Tony looked a bit confused. "What do you mean?"

Gibbs cleared his throat and met his eyes. "I love you too son."

Tony's heart almost melted and he managed a smile. "Aww, that's sweet. There's a heart somewhere in that marine shell isn't there?"

Gibbs glanced at the dirt pile near the site as a few painful memories resurfaced. He shook his head in response. "Yeah, there used to be DiNozzo, there used to be."


	19. Chances

Five

…reasons why I'll never be as good as he was.

…years before I stop missing him.

…tears I fight back every day.

Four

…days before we're ordered back to work.

…minutes since I remembered him last.

…hours since they placed him in the ground.

Three

…bullets took him from us.

…seconds between me getting there in time.

…of us left to carry on his legacy.

Two

…days since I've slept.

…hours spent with Abby every night.

…tears of my own.

One

…more head slap.

…more stare.

…more day is all I want.

Zero

…chance they'll _ever _be another Leroy Jethro Gibbs…


	20. Watch Your Six

_Episode: Missing; Season One_

_**Gibbs:**__ DiNozzo, watch your six_

_**Tony:**__ Always_

--

Gibbs approached while Tony held the icepack tight to the back of his head.

"How many times do I have to tell you…"

"Watch my six, yeah I know, won't happen again." He set the ice pack down for a second, before Gibbs pointed for him to put it back.

"Good, cuz I'd hate to have to hire another agent. The paper works a pain in the…" He was interrupted by his phone and set it down without a word. "I'm in with the Director…don't black out till I get back…"

"Wouldn't dream of it boss."

* * *

Gibbs entered MTAC and took a seat. "Yes sir?"

"What the hell happened out there Jethro?"

"Sir I assure you it will be in the report."

Morrow looked through the file in his hand. "This DiNozzo…you're certain he's worth the trouble? He's left each department after two years."

"He's worth it."

"How can you be so sure? There were other applicants far more qualified…"

"My gut sir."

"You're certain he's not a hazard in the field…?"

"The only thing he's a hazard to is my mental health…trust me, he's a good Agent, just got a lot to learn…like we all did once sir."

"Alright, but if he ends up quitting, accidentally shooting you or himself, then I'd hate to say I told you so."

Gibbs stood up. "You won't have to sir."

* * *

Gibbs arrived back in the bull pen to find Tony lying on the floor behind his desk motionless. He moved his chair aside by picking it up and throwing it across the office. He quickly patted his cheeks. "DiNozzo! DiNozzo!! Damnit!"

Just as a crowd started to form, Gibbs watched Tony open one eye slowly and grin big. "Boo!"

Gibbs stood up. "DiNozzo, so help me if you didn't have a concussion right now…" He moved his hand as he did in the early stages of a head slap attack.

Tony got up on one knee then eventually stood up. "I saw that in a movie once…see this guy got hit upside the head with a baseball bat and plays this trick on his boss…"

Gibbs lifted his hand to quiet him. "Another word Tony…and God only knows what I'll do."

Tony nodded and retrieved his ice pack. "So…what'd the Director want?"

Gibbs responded first by forcefully pushing his chair back towards him. "Why?"

"Just wondering if I gotta pack up my desk now or when the paper works done being processed?"

Gibbs stood behind his own desk. "Cuz you screwed up? You aint getting off that easy…"

"I'm not?"

"Nope…we're stuck with each other for _a long, long_ time."

--

_Years later…_

"_How many times do I have to tell you…"_

_Tony left the ice pack tight to his head and started to count on his fingers. "Another time wouldn't hurt boss…"_


	21. It's Not The Same You Know

AN: Sorry about the delay in updating this series. Had a bit of block for a while. Hope you enjoy it :D

--

_Quote from: Season 1, Episode: High Seas_

_**Kate**__: It's not the same thing you know_

_**Tony**__: What?_

_**Kate**__: You and Gibbs, Burley and Gibbs…_

_**Tony**__: I don't know what you're talking about. _

_**Kate**__: Was a different dynamic, a different time, you cant compare the relationships. _

_**Tony**__: Who's comparing?_

_**Kate**__: All I'm saying is that things on the surface are not always the same when you put them in context with the way things actually developed…under the surface…_

--

"I don't give a damn if a Semi truck hi jacked across the belt way…if you're late again, don't bother coming back."

Tony threw his arms up. "Boss…"

"If the next words out of your mouth are anything but, it won't happen again; you can leave right now."

Kate had been watching the exchange but couldn't process it fast enough to interrupt. And Gibbs was gone before she or Tony could say anything.

"Um…" Kate pointed to where Gibbs had just been; still searching for her voice.

Tony was fuming but slowly calmed himself with deep breaths. "Could Gibbs have gotten married and we not know about it?"

She normally would have laughed but was still in shock. "That…wasn't normal."

"Gibbs…isn't normal." He countered, slipping off his side arm and finally getting settled. It wasn't long before Ducky entered the bull pen solemnly.

"Have you two seen Jethro this morning?"

"You mean Hurricane Gibbs…yeah he just blew through." Tony replied; not picking up on Ducky's expression. "It was close but Kate and I survived."

"Ah, well he must be with Abby then."

Kate looked up. "We don't have a case." But contrary to Tony she noticed his expression. "Something wrong?"

"I'm afraid so, have you two checked your emails yet this morning?"

The two shook their heads before simultaneously pulling up their emails.

Tony spoke up first. "Gibbs didn't find out by email did he Ducky?"

"I certainly hope not." He turned to leave. "I'll be down in Abby's lab."

Kate then stood up and paced towards Tony. "Think we should go down there?"

He slowly shook his head. "Gibbs doesn't need consoling."

"You can't really be mad at him for yelling at you? He just found out Burley was killed…"

"Yeah, I read the same email you did." He stood up and filed a few folders. "And no I'm not mad...hell I'd let him slash the tires on my mustang if it'd help him get through it…" He stopped himself. "Okay, maybe not my tires…"

"This is not a joke Tony."

He slammed the file cabinet shut. "Oh really Kate? And here I thought Gibbs grieving was great material for comic relief…"

"Well I'm gonna do down there." She took a few steps towards the elevator and half expected Tony to follow. Only he didn't.

* * *

Kate approached a somber Ducky at the entrance of the lab; and the two stood quietly as Gibbs consoled a crying Abby. She leaned into Ducky's right ear. "Is there something we can do?"

Ducky shook his head and whispered in return. "I'm afraid not my dear; what Jethro is doing now is how he copes. Offsets all grief into caring for others; in particular her."

"Reminds me of my Father."

"Yes, well no surprise there. He does have those instincts." He tried to smile at the picture unfolding before him; because despite the cries; something about it was beautiful.

Some time later Abby settled down and Kate was able to offer her condolences. "Gibbs, I'm…"

He interrupted her. "Part of the job Kate. He knew the risks; same risks you and I face every day." He walked past and entered the elevator; arriving in the bull pen moments later to find Tony sitting at his desk quietly. The two exchanged glances and neither said a word for quite a while until...

"Spit it out DiNozzo."

"I don't know what you're talking about boss."

"I know you know…so just say it."

Tony shrugged. "Say what?"

Gibbs stood up in response. "You known damn well what…say you're sorry like the rest of the people I see today…"

Tony stood up as well. "I know how you feel about apologies Gibbs…"

Gibbs head hung a little lower than usual before he lifted it back up. "And whoever said to take everything I say as gospel DiNozzo?"

"No one boss. I watch and learn."

"Yeah, and where has that gotten you?"

He knew where his boss was headed. "I'm a better cop."

"How much better?"

"Better than I was before I got here."

Gibbs gestured towards himself. "Because of me?"

"Yeah boss, because of you." He watched Gibbs shake his head. "Are you second guessing yourself because of what happened to Burley? Boss, he made his own choice…"

Gibbs slammed his hand down to interrupt. "He wasn't watching his six! I taught him that Damnit…taught him to always watch his six…taught him to never take anything for granted…I've taught you those things haven't I?"

His decibel caused many of the surrounding Agents to stop what they were doing.

"Yeah, you have."

"Well, here's a new one…no rule, no example, hell no number of medals or cases solved will ever cut it DiNozzo…"

Tony noticed him starting to calm down and debated his response. He then watched Gibbs take a seat and approached his desk cautiously. "What happened to Burley could've happened to any of us. Now, sure, having you as a boss has made me a better cop; but I chose to come into work every day just like he did. And there's nothing you could've done to stop him or me from doing our jobs." He stepped back towards his desk and neither said a word until it was time to head home for the night.

Kate decided on leaving without a second attempt at condolences and waved good night solemnly. Tony stood up not long after and tossed his bag over his shoulder. "Night boss." He waited a few moments and after realizing he wouldn't be getting a response he left quietly.

* * *

The next morning came sooner than Gibbs would've liked. Another flight taking him to a place he was a stranger in; to pay respects to a kid he'd taught everything he knew. Even if it wasn't enough to keep him alive.

He closed his front door and stepped down his front steps to see a familiar face leaning against his car. "Thought you might want some company boss."

Gibbs gave a wry smile. "And just what made you think that DiNozzo?"

"Something a friend told me once."

"Is that right?"

"Yup, said you never let your boss go to a funeral of someone he cares about alone."

His smile remained. "Smart guy."

"I like to think so." He set his bag down. "So we gonna stand out in the cold or you gonna unlock the car?"

Gibbs opened the door without pressing a button or turning a key. Tony couldn't help but smile as he got inside.

The car ride to the airport; the flight; the funeral and the flight home were encompassed with the usual Gibbs silence. And Tony expected nothing less. It wasn't until Gibbs pulled back into his drive way that evening that he decided to express his gratitude.

"Well night boss." Tony started towards his car with a wave.

"Hey DiNozzo…"

He shrugged. "You don't have to say it. I know."

Gibbs managed a smile. "Listen, about me yelling at you yesterday…"

"Yeah, I know you were just upset; it's understandable given the circumstance and all."

"Actually I was gonna say I forgot something." And with a swift slap to the back of the head Tony mirrored Gibbs smile.

"Thank you boss."

It was then Gibbs shook his head and placed a firm hand on Tony's shoulder before waving goodnight. "No DiNozzo, thank you."


	22. You Will Not Die

_**Gibbs (To Tony):**__ "You will not die…" _

_Episode 2.22 SWAK_

_--_

"He's asking for you Jethro…" Ducky spoke softly into the phone until he made his way outside the hospital doors. "He can barely formulate a sentence through all that coughing…but I have made out your name a number of times…"

Gibbs flipped on his light switch and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Has he improved?"

"I'm afraid not; he's actually getting worse in some ways. But the Doctors are hopeful, given that he's survived this long."

Gibbs swung his legs around and reached for a pair of jeans lying on the floor. He slipped them on; all the while keeping the phone between his shoulder and ear. "Be right there…tell him if he dies before I get there, I'll kill him."

* * *

Tony had been transferred to ICU not long after Gibbs visit with explicit instructions to live. He had threatened relatively every member of the hospital staff assigned to Tony in the short time he was there. His presence was less than welcomed by the nurses.

"Visiting hours are over Agent Gibbs."

He looked at his watch. "Really? I thought they started at 3am." He slipped past her and watched her eventually give up. He could hear his Senior Agents hacking cough from quite a distance away; and cringed each time it started again. He reached his room and a stare removed the lingering nursing staff.

"We just gave him a sedative to help him sleep; he should be out any minute."

He nodded his thanks and pulled a chair up to his bed. "I got a page you were asking for me…now what in the heck is so important you'd drag me out of bed in the middle of the night…?"

Tony blinked a few times; as he gasped for air. "Boss?"

"Anyone else you know able to visit you at 3 am against hospital regs?"

He shook his head and tried to laugh; only it began a coughing fit in which Gibbs stood up and placed a soft hand on his arm. "S-s-sorry boss…"

"Don't make me head slap you." He sat back down. "Now, what do you need Tony?" He watched him stare up at the ceiling in silence for a few minutes and racked his brain for what he could possibly want.

"I'm…I'm t-t-tired."

It was then Gibbs stood up and met his Agents eyes; finally understanding what he'd wanted. "Get some sleep DiNozzo. I'll be here when you wake up."

Gibbs sat back down in the chair and pulled out a blanket from the bag he'd brought with him. He took off his sweatshirt to use as a pillow and plopped his feet up on the edge of Tony's bed. He watched him carefully until he was sure he was asleep; before dosing off himself. Doing exactly what Tony had wanted him to do...

Watch his six.


	23. Do You Have A Rule For Everything?

AN: Some of you may have seen this as one of my Heartland Tags, but just incase you readers missed it, I thought it would find a fitting home in this series as well. Season Six Spoilers for Heartland.

--

_**Gibbs:**__ Do you have a rule for everything?_

_**Shannon:**__ Working on it. Everyone needs a code they can live by…_

--

Tony normally tried to hide his Gibbs gazing, but this time was hoping his boss would get aggravated and start this particular conversation himself. It didn't take long.

"Spit it out DiNozzo."

Tony stood up and awkwardly approached Gibbs desk. "I have to know boss, it's killing me…"

"It's not gonna be the only thing killing you if you don't ask."

Tony put his hands out. "The rules Gibbs…did you just come up with them on your own? Not that you're not capable of that type of creativity, but lets face it, people have rules but no one really numbers them…except you of course…so…"

Gibbs glanced at his watch. "Been a long day DiNozzo."

Tony sighed; then turned around and sulked back to his desk defeated. Some time passed before it was time to head home. Gibbs appeared in front of him right then. "Just how bad do you want to know Tony?"

"Really bad boss…"

"Then finish up that report and meet me at my place in an hour."

Tony didn't bother questioning the response and was quickly overcome with excitement.

* * *

He reached Gibbs basement to find him polishing the boat. He couldn't believe it was almost complete. "Gee boss, it looks great."

Gibbs handed him a bottle of finish in response. "Get to work."

Tony deduced that this was what Gibbs must've meant when he asked how bad he wanted to know. There was always a catch. But right now Tony didn't care. It was almost an hour before his hands were killing him. "Break time?" He questioned hesitantly; but sighed in relief as Gibbs motioned towards the work bench and poured them a drink.

"You want to have a family Tony?"

He was taken aback but went along with it. "Yeah, sure. Why not right?"

Gibbs realized he'd caught him a bit off guard. "Good answer."

"Really? Cuz I thought it was a bit flaky…"

Gibbs managed a smile. "Having a family is one of the greatest pleasures in the world DiNozzo…"

Tony agreed as he took a sip from his glass. "Even for guys like us?"

"Guys like us?"

"Well yeah, didn't exactly have the best Fathers…we're both sort of loners."

Gibbs was surprised at the parallel. "We are who we make of ourselves Tony."

"I know boss." He finished off his drink and set it down. "So seriously, how you gonna get the boat out?"

Gibbs ignored the comment and let his gaze drift to the picture frame hiding behind some of his tools. He contemplated pulling it out; then noticed Tony curiously following his gaze. He cleaned it off and handed it to him.

"She's pretty boss."

"Yeah…she was." He poured each of them another drink.

Tony took it solemnly as he handed the frame back to him. "Bet being back there brought back a lot of memories huh?" He waited for a response but realized he wouldn't be getting one. "Your rules…you didn't make up the idea on your own did you boss?"

Gibbs shook his head slowly and set the frame back behind the tools. "We met when I was shipping out… so she wrote to me. She ended every letter with one of her rules…and before I knew it, I was doing the same thing…"

Tony listened in amazement. "Wow boss, that's…wow."

"Yeah DiNozzo, wow." He took the glass from his hand and set his own down before motioning towards the boat. "You still got a half a bottle to use…get to it."

Tony stood up with a smile. "On it boss."


	24. Tag To Requiem

Tag to Requiem

--

Tony arrived at NCIS with a dry suit and no particular reason for being there. The Director had ordered him home to rest via orders from the ER Doctor and via threat orders from Gibbs. But he couldn't. He'd spoken with Ziva, Abby, McGee and Ducky over the phone multiple times and though they offered their company he figured he'd be better off alone. And what better place then NCIS in the dead of night to accomplish that. He settled into his desk with no particular task at hand, no particular motivation and no particular train of thought. His eyes soon fixated on Gibbs empty desk and he began to let his mind take him back. From the afternoon he hired him to the afternoon on that pier. One a new beginning, another an almost bitter end.

"I'm not dead DiNozzo…" Gibbs voice broke the mild silence, but noticed that Tony hadn't acknowledged him.

Tony wasn't sure whether his mind was still in flash back mode until his head came in contact with a familiar force. "Boss?"

"In the flesh. What the hell are you doing here?"

Tony rubbed at his eyes to give the allusion he was tired. "Would you believe paperwork?" He watched Gibbs simply shake his head. "How about getting mentally prepared for the next case?"

Gibbs placed both hands on his desk and leaned forward. "How about disobeying a direct order?"

Tony nodded in agreement but only to get some breathing room. After Gibbs moved towards his desk, Tony stood up. "Like you are?"

Gibbs facial expression changed from relief to aggravation. "Do you want me to get pissed?"

"No, never, I like you more calm than pissed. I just don't know why you get to stay and I have to go."

Gibbs managed a smile; he almost appreciated when Tony stood up for himself. Almost. "I don't need a reason."

"Uh huh." Tony figured that's as much of an answer as he was going to get, and moved behind his desk before remembering he hadn't brought anything with him. Except his dry suit. He stood there confused for a few seconds before moving towards the elevator. As the doors opened an array of emotions started to move about inside him and he felt the urge to turn back around. And so he did.

And little did he know he wasn't the only one with an array of emotions running through him. Gibbs looked towards him with a rare expression. "Forget something DiNozzo?"

Tony nodded as he stood at entrance of the dim bull pen. "Yeah, my sanity."

Gibbs stifled a laugh. "You're just realizing this now?"

Tony stepped towards him and stood over his desk. "I'm serious. My mind is running in a thousand different directions. Got any advice?"

"Tell it to stop."

Tony straightened his jacket and looked determined. "Stop." He rolled his eyes upward as if speaking to his brain then peered down at Gibbs to see if it had worked. "Got any other words of wisdom?"

Gibbs stood up and met his eyes. "Time."

"Ah," Tony put his finger in the air. "Time heals all. Never hurts to use an old cliché eh boss?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not a good enough answer for you DiNozzo?"

"Well you just can't know how much time you have, you know? So if time heals all, who's to say that you'll even have enough time to heal it all."

Gibbs examined him for a few moments before responding. "You worried you won't have enough time?"

"I'm worried you won't."

Gibbs was always one to anticipate; but even he had to admit he hadn't expected that. "Me?"

"Yeah," Tony began. "That was you who I pulled out of the water 7 hours and fourteen minutes ago right?" He finished by glancing at his watch.

"And I'm grateful. But I don't need you worrying DiNozzo…Abby is doing enough of that for the both of us." He patted him gently on the shoulder before sitting back down.

Tony stood there for a few moments in silence before swallowing hard. "I was uh, was scared to death yesterday boss…"

Once again Gibbs found himself taken by surprise; this whole ordeal had shaken up Tony more than he thought it had. He kept silent and let him continue.

"Not that I haven't been scared before. Cuz well, I have. Albeit only a couple times; but scared none the less. And yesterday, well yesterday it was something I'd never experienced. It was more like…dread."

"That you wouldn't bring me back?" Gibbs added for him before standing up a second time.

Tony nodded. "And now that I have; I'm scared as hell to ever feel that again."

"If you want me to promise that you won't, I can't do that."

"I know that boss…I guess I just needed to get that off my chest." He took in a breath and let it out. "I feel better already."

"Do you?" Gibbs questioned, assessing his Senior Agent.

"Not even close. Do I have to go home?"

Gibbs shook his head slowly and motioned that he could go back to his desk.

As the minutes passed Gibbs couldn't help but notice Tony's eyes staring at him on and off. But chose not to acknowledge it. He was working things out the way he needed to. And in an odd sort of way so was Gibbs. Watching each others six.


	25. Still Drinking? Agent Afloat

AN: Entry For You're Not Allowed In Challenge, At NFA.... Which turned into more Tony/Gibbs Father/Son. So Enjoy!!:)

---

"Your presence is requested at the main entrance security kiosk."

Gibbs didn't have to ask why, and neither did the rest of his team as they watched him dart towards the elevator determined, yet sad.

McGee was the first to comment. "Wish there was something we could do."

Ziva sighed as she stood up from her desk and moved towards the empty one across from her. "He has made his own choices yes? There is little if anything we can do for him now."

"Yeah but…I don't know. Maybe if I'd tried a little harder keeping in touch, noticed the signs…"

"There is no sense in feeling guilty McGee," her face was stoic but inside she felt the same as her partner. "No one can help Tony, unless he first wants to help himself."

Tim knew she was right, but it didn't make him feel any better. "Yeah…" He looked towards the elevator. "Think maybe we should go down this time?"

"If Gibbs needed us, he would have asked."

"Maybe or maybe he was waiting for us to ask him. You never know with the boss…especially lately."

Ziva sat behind her desk in response, as if making a statement.

Tim shrugged. "Well I'm gonna go down there…" He stood up with little hesitation and moved towards the stair well, after all, he had to make up on lost time.

* * *

"DiNozzo…" Gibbs stated for the fifth time in the last minute.

"Don't get that tone with me boss…I know that tone…it's the disappointed tone, and right now that's the last thing I want to hear."

"Right now, I don't care what you want. You know damn well, they can't let you in…and I can't help you."

It was then; Tony froze with his hands out and cupped his ears. "Did I just hear right? Did you just say you can't help me…? Somebody mark this date in the history books…Leroy Jethro Gibbs is admitting he can't do something…"

Gibbs moved towards him and waved away the Security surrounding him. "Are ya done?"

"With this Agency? I guess so…"

"This is just temporary DiNozzo…but if you keep this up, it'll damn well be permanent."

Tony speech was a bit slurred, but he still managed to get his point across. "Face it boss…Vance has no intent on bringing me back…you said it, he wants Agents more like the Probie...and less like you and me…just a matter of time before you're gone off to Mexico for good…"

Tim had been listening long enough. "We're not NCIS without Agents like you and the boss Tony…you know that! So quit making this worse on yourself…let me take you home."

"Didn't see ya standing there Probie…guess you're getting more like Ziva by the day. Well don't worry, you two will be just fine without me…"

"No we wont…" Tim's voice was loud so he wasn't mistaken. "Let me take you home…you can sleep this off…"

"Sleep it off? You don't just sleep off killing the Director of NCIS, Probie…you don't just sleep off seeing your partner shot point blank in the head…you don't just sleep off your heart being ripped out of your chest…"

It was then Gibbs stepped forward a second time. "If you wanna wallow in self pity DiNozzo…go home and build a boat." He took in a breath. "You keep coming here like this, they're gonna lock you up…that what you want?"

"Maybe its what I deserve."

Gibbs stare intensified. "You want to let your mistakes ruin you, then so be it. But don't expect me to stand around and watch it…" He turned his back on his Senior Agent with one swift move and left with his characteristic silence.

Tony started after him but was promptly held back by armed guards. "Go ahead…leave me boss…everyone else has…"

Tim watched Gibbs continue to walk away, despite Tony's words.

"He's right Tony…"

"What else is new Probie." He responded quickly, and motioned that he was ceasing his plight to gain entry. He was soon released by the guards and followed towards the exit.

"I can drive you home." Tim offered a second time.

Tony glanced back at him but gave no response before being ushered outside the doors.

Tim was left with nothing but the look on his face and slowly but surely directed himself back into the bull pen. He said nothing as he sat down and knew better than to offer his opinions without being asked. But this time was different…

"Why do you think he keeps coming back boss?"

Gibbs threw his coffee cup in the trash with more force than necessary. "Do I look like I have all the answers McGee?"

"Actually boss…you do." Tim surprised even himself with that response, but this whole situation had thrown him for a loop. Sure, Tony had been through some rough times, heck, they all had…but no one expected this. Right?

Gibbs stood up at the reply. "Well hell, McGee…maybe I should run for President…" And with that he left.

"I do not think he was asking for a real answer McGee."

Tim didn't look up at her. "I guess I should've just stayed up here."

"What happened?"

"Same as the last three times, expect this time Gibbs turned his back on him and left. I didn't think I'd live to see that."

"Perhaps he is fed up yes?"

"The boss doesn't get fed up with Tony…he gets irritated, aggravated, annoyed, angry…but he wouldn't turn his back on him unless…"

"He felt he had to," Ziva finished for him. "A little bit of rough love, yes?"

"Tough."

She received the correction and continued. "It may do him some good. He cannot continue showing up here drunk and expect Gibbs to get him out of it every time…it is childish."

"He's in pain." Tim stated, but not to refute her. "He doesn't know what to do…"

"We have all been in pain," her voice softened. "It can cause you to do things, you will most often regret."

"Tony already has."

"Well he has not lost his job yet, McGee. Though I fear one more outburst like this and he might."

Tim agreed. "And without the boss buffering the Director, he could be in real trouble."

Ziva stared at the empty desk across from her once again. "He already is McGee."

* * *

"It appears Anthony paid us another visit." Ducky was quick to read his friends expression as he entered through the autopsy doors.

"That obvious Duck?"

"Well that, and we don't have a case…so either he showed up, or you got lost on your way to the coffee shop."

Gibbs didn't smile. "I turned my back on him Duck."

"Perhaps rightfully so Jethro…he cannot expect you to come running every time he throws a fit. You're not his Father and he is not a two year old boy in a candy shop." He examined his friend a second time. "I realize you care for him, but he is not your responsibility…Anthony is a grown man."

"Except, he _is _my responsibility Ducky…I feel like…" He searched for the right phrase.

"Like you failed him?" The ME finished for him. "The boy has been let down many a time in his life...he looks up to you, but you cannot bear that pressure Jethro. You are not his parent."

"Makes me wonder who is."

"If Anthony chooses to go down this path, then there is little any of us can do to stop him…except show him that we'll be there when he's ready to ask for help."

"Sounds too cliché for me Duck."

"Yes well, you always were one to go against the grain…but be aware, that he is in pain…and pain as you know, can make you do irreversible things."

Gibbs nodded slowly. "I cant be a bystander…he's my Agent."

"Then why did you turn your back on him?"

"I was pissed…" He started to pace a bit.

"Do you honestly believe he is coming back here to simply 'piss' you off?"

"Hell if I know…it's like he wants to get fired…like he's punishing himself."

Ducky nodded towards him. "Something you are quite familiar with."

A moment of silence passed before the ME continued. "You were alone Jethro…is that how you want Anthony to be?"

Gibbs didn't have to respond, and with a simple nod of thanks, he was gone.

* * *

"I can't have my Agency being embarrassed every other day of the week…you better tell me your Agent is worth it, or I pick up this phone and permanently refuse him entry onto the yard for good."

Gibbs didn't waiver. "You trust my gut Leon?"

"When it benefits this Agency."

"Well then trust it now…DiNozzo may have gone off the handle, but he's worth the hassle…I can handle him."

"Like you handled him today?"

Gibbs clenched his teeth. "Give him one more chance…"

Leon's hand moved from over the phone. "You willing to risk your reputation for this kid?"

Gibbs turned towards the door. "I'm willing to risk _more_ than that…"

* * *

He arrived at Tony's apartment and let himself in…not because he had a key, but because the door was unlocked. He passed through a litter of clothes as he made his way inside…

"DiNozzo!" He shouted a few times before discovering his Senior Agent laid out on the love seat…a bottle of bourbon donning the coffee table. Gibbs picked it up with a heartless smile and decided against waking him up right then. He proceeded to clean up what he could and placed himself on the coffee table, dead center from where his Agent was fast asleep…. And it was there he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until…

"Am I dead?" Tony managed as his eye lids pealed open one by one.

"That can be arranged."

He tried sitting himself up before deciding against it. "My head feels like its been slapped a few thousand times."

"That's because it has…" Gibbs stated plainly.

Tony rubbed at his eyes. "What are you doing here anyway? Thought you didn't want to buy tickets to this show…"

"I lied."

He attempted sitting up a second time. "Nah…you were pissed. There's a difference."

"You know me too well."

He succeeded, and sat up fully. "Bet you cant find too many who can say that huh?"

"No."

"Do I win a prize or something?"

Gibbs met his wandering eyes. "What do you want?"

"Loaded question."

"Deserves an answer…"

"And if I say I don't know."

"Now whose lying?"

Tony stopped the rapid conversation. "I think my heads starting to spin."

Gibbs put his hand up. "I can fix that."

"Uh, no thanks boss…I'm good."

"Fine…then answer the question."

"What was the question again?"

Gibbs remained in solid eye contact. "What do you want?"

"Oh right, the loaded question…" he rubbed at his temples. "Well where do I start?"

"How about the beginning…"

"Always a favorite." He cleared his throat. "Once upon a time, lived little Anthony DiNozzo…a rich young laddie with a good head on his shoulders…his Mother and Father were a picture perfect couple with high hopes for the boy. But little Anthony chose to pursue an unorthodox path of football and law enforcement…His Mother died soon after his acceptance to college and his Father took less and less of an interest in little Anthony's life…It wasn't long before the family he once knew no longer existed and he was left alone to toil life's trials on his own…"

Gibbs expression changed. "Not bad for being hung over."

"It plays like a record in my brain…round and around, and around and around…"

He began to sway before Gibbs reached out to steady him.

It was then Gibbs reached under the table for the empty bottle of bourbon. "You look up to me that much?"

"Figured if it worked for you….it had to work for me…it's not like I lost my wife and kid." He cringed. "Sorry boss, bourbon talking."

"Yeah, I know the language…" He set the bottle back down. "And I'm not letting you learn it."

"It helps…" he pinched his fingers together. "I forget it all."

"Record keeps playing when you wake up."

"Valid point…you're beginning to sound like Ducky."

"He been by?"

"Only every other night…he just pops in, shares a story or two. Cleans up a little…doesn't stay quite as long as Abby though."

He almost smiled. "Im surprised she's not here now."

"I told her not to come back."

"You did what?"

Tony closed his eyes as if regretting it. "Better for her…its what you would've done…"

"You're not me…"

"Minus the silver hair…and killing Jenny. You're right…"

Gibbs swallowed. "You don't want to go there DiNozzo."

"Been _'there'_ for the last five months boss…just another record, playing around and around…"

"Worth your career?"

"It was worth your life…" Tony spoke before thinking. "Franks told me you let that chick get you in her sights in Jenny's office…that you were toying with death and to watch out for ya…yeah well, if its worth _you_ risking your life for the guilt…then my career is a blip on the radar…"

"Didn't realize we were just a blip to you."

Tony looked up at him. "We?"

"You know damn well who I'm talking about."

"Ah, you guys are doing fine without me…"

"I'm sure that's why you keep showing up…"

"It's the bour—"

Gibbs interrupted. "Bourbon…yeah, spare me the melodramatic DiNozzo, this isn't a movie…this is real life, and in real life you man up to what you've done…and it either defeats you, or you defeat it."

Tony's eyes were now misted with tears. "Guess I'm defeated boss…" He threw his hands up. "Look at me."

"No…_you_ look at me." Gibbs placed both hands on his face and forced him to meet his eyes. "You are not defeated…you hear me?"

"Hear…yes. Believe, no."

Gibbs set his jaw firm. "I cant take back the bullet that killed Kate…I cant take back the bullets that killed Jenny….and I cant take back the bullet that killed my wife and daughter…" He let his hands down and took in a breath. "But I _can_ wake up every damn day of my God forsaken life and face that fact…because I sure as hell aint letting it win…"

"That's you boss," Tony swallowed hard. "Not me."

"Well hell DiNozzo, you're trying so damn hard to be me all the time…right now would be a good time to listen…"

He tried to pull his eyes away form Gibbs gaze but couldn't. "I want to be as strong as you…"

"No…" He met the expression on his face. "You'll be stronger."

Tony resisted the tears and took in a breath. "Should we hug now?"

Gibbs almost smiled. "Not until you're sober."

"Really?"

"No."

Tony managed a small smile. "How much damage control am I in for with Vance?"

"I'd be more concerned about Abby..."

He tried to stand and took Gibbs open hand to help him do so. "Good point." He nodded. "Guess I have a lot of apologizing to do huh?"

"Gotta be weak before you can be strong DiNozzo."

"So are you admitting you've been weak before?"

…

"_Ow!_...point taken boss."

* * *

It was two months and seven days before Gibbs met Tony at the main entrance of NCIS.

"Nervous?"

Tony scoffed. "No…but I think I should take all the security personnel out for a beer soon."

"Not a bad idea."

* * *

He entered the bull pen, one step behind his boss and went through his usual routine of removing his side arm. His teammates arrived shorty after.

"Bet you're mad you don't have Ziva all to yourself now eh Probie?" It wasn't long after he was met with an elbow to the gut. "Missed you too Ziva."

"Glad you're back Tony…knew you would be."

Tony smiled at him. "Thanks for all the phone calls…meant a lot."

"Yeah, just glad I could help…it's what partners do."

Tony nodded his thanks a second time before preparing himself for his next destination. He made his way down to her lab and lingered at her door way for a full minute.

"You're allowed in." She stated with a small smile, and was quick to offer him a hug, followed by a punch in the shoulder. "Now don't you ever be that mean to me again…drunk or not…understood?"

He nodded quickly. "Yes ma'am."

"Good." She threw her arms around him fully. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better."

She squeezed him tight. "You know we're here for you right? Like always…"

"Yeah, Abs…I know."

"I mean it…always."

He eased back from the hug and suddenly felt right at home. "Always."


End file.
